Georgia on My Mind

Okay, so I work really really hard. Taking care of 10 adults in an Assisted Living home is daunting. Add to it the tons of administrative work and running around. But today we had a spontaneous dance party with our residents. One man with a brain injury who barely speaks, and even then only in a whisper, actually sang "Georgia on My Mind" out loud as another resident cheered him on. The grouchy lady who never smiles actually did so. "That's my favorite song," she said. The whole staff was together in the kitchen laughing and dancing. I held hands with a wheelchair-bound lady and we moved to the music together.

This is my job. I can't believe it. Sometimes I hate it. There are so many laws to comply with and so many county assistance forms to fill out. The resident's need so much help, whether it is explaining documents from their doctor or just helping them find the word for "that thing you drive around", a car. But you can't hate moments like the one I had today.

I have been working in my office for the past couple hours feeling famished. One of the aides just brought me a plate of hot lasagna and garlic bread to eat before I go home.

I am blessed.

Community

I've lived alone for over three years. My, how things have changed.

Now I live with a family of about 10, depending on which kids are here at the time. And I'm definitely counting the three dogs in that number as they are central to the household dynamics. Margaret Thatcher (or Maggie) is a cuddler and a wannabe runaway. What an interesting dichotomy. Max is a gentle Labrador Retriever and is kinda lazy, so I relate to him. Thor is a hulking grizzly bear sized Newfie that I call either Jerry Lewis or Clown, depending on my mood and his antics at the time.

Mike and Eydie are playing host family to my foreign exchange/unemployed role. Then there are the "kids". I really can't call Josh and Jordan kids since they're finished with school. The other three are still in school and will be for a few more years. They are sweet and funny and kind and, like Margaret Thatcher, will eat anything you leave out on the counter even if you just walk away for a couple minutes and plan to come back to finish it later.

I have been thinking a lot about community since I got here. Do I enjoy my solitude more than I relish being part of a community? When you're by yourself you can just sit in silence for as long as you want. You can stay in bed for hours sleeping or reading New York magazine or watching a Big Love marathon on DVD. After so many years on my own, I have to wonder, can I really function in a family? Before this weekend, I had my doubts. I thought perhaps I wasn't cut out to be part of a permanent group setting. But everyone went camping this weekend, and I chose to stay behind. I have to say that I am feeling surprisingly lonely and lost. It is just so quiet, except for the occasional whine from hungry Max or a bark from Maggie to let me know she needs to go outside.

Since I just moved here, I have no friends other than the ones I live with or know through Eydie. So I have no options for socializing outside my immediate family circle right now. This weekend, for the first time since I moved here, I realized how incredibly far away I am from my Portland friends. When it hit me that I couldn't go meet friends for a drink at the bar or for dinner, I have to say I felt overwhelmingly sad.

So, after one weekend alone, I sort of feel like I failed some sort of test. I felt aimless and sad and confused. Is it because I just moved across the country after 13 years in one city? Or is it just because I quickly grew accustomed to having people around me and living in a highly active and energetic household?

Maybe I do, in fact, need the energy of others in order to thrive. This is something I'll be exploring.

Welcome to Minnesota

The adventure has begun. After traveling through eight states, I've arrived in Minnesota!